its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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