Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
