I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
