I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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