If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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