i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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