she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
