I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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