and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize