a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
