That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
