This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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