ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
