i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
