erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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