Pappa wants mamma naked
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
