Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize