grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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