Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
