your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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