your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
