as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
