Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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