I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
