you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
