No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
