Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
