So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
