His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sorry about my life...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
