My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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