I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
