She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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