It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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