I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
