As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Randomize
