3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
