It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Boobs speak an international language.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
