Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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