I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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