If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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