Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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