Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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