Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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