i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
