Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
