I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
