I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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