I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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