I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
