Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
pray to the hookup gods
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize