either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
