It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
