best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
