My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
