I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
