A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
