it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
