He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
