So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
