I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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