worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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