she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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