I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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