People in love make me want to vomit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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