Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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